the single's questions 080530

After a somewhat whirlwind weekend of debauchery, I got to thinking about coupling. I am seriously not the right person to talk about this topic. I have never been in a REAL relationship that would qualify me as a better half of a couple. I have had relationships before, but never really serious, some (for me) were real, but I can't quite say the same for the other person.

But why is it that for the past few weeks, I feel so pressured to finally be in a relationship. What are the factors that have put me into this position? Has society become so couple-centered? Is it my family? Is it my age? Or could it just be loneliness? Why is it always just a QUESTION?

I am not one who easily gets jealous. But everytime I see a happy couple, my inner green-eyed monster just pops out. I look at them and think "why can't I have that?"

But secretly, I feel happy for them... miserable for me.

I am fastly moving on to my mid-twenties box. I know it sounds exagerrated, but I think I am running out of time.

I am mid-twenties, I have a great loving family, I have the most amazing friends and a successful career. I guess it's safe to say that I am living the life!

But I have never had a real relationship!

Yes, you can, I won't hate you! Go ahead, feel sorry for me.

Heck! I feel sorry for myself.

Everytime I go out on a weekend (which is not often by the way), I feel like there is extra pressure for me to meet someone. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-social or anything. I do meet some pretty decent people, but none of them I really fancy. The people I actually like, always end up being taken. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who has no one. Lonely.

I am about to have (yet another) birthday in a few weeks. Another year, another waste of precious time to spend with someone.

I have heard enough of the "The ONE is out there, you just haven't met, so just wait" speeches. I am so tired of waiting. I have waited for almost my entire adult life.

It seems almost everyone I know is coupling up, save for my very few unfortunate friends. Thank God. I need them!

But I always get to thinking, if I am twenty-something and I still have not had a real decent relationship, ever, could that ONE person for me be feeling the same way? Is God saving me for someone grand? Or could I just be too blind to see what's in front of me? And when we do meet each other, will we both know that "This is it!"?

My relationship-life has all been questions.

Here goes another weekend, of me, trying, to finally, get an answer!



Wish me luck!