to Alanis (Letters 080215)

Hi!

How have you been? There hasn't been enough news about you that's going around. Of course, I know how you like to keep your profile of the DL. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you a couple of things.

I've been pretty down for the past few days. I think I am about 4.5 inches to rock bottom. And you know that when I get like this, your music always seems to put my head into (the correct) perspective. Work, family and myself have been stressing me so much. I literally do not want to get my ass out of bed because I just want to hibernate. When I do get out and head to work, my mind wanders off to such dark places and I am seriously out of touch from where I am. When I get to work and mingle with people I feel like I'm shrinking. You know how when you're driving away from someone and you look at the rear view mirror and see them grow smaller and smaller as you put your weight on the accelerator? That's what I'm feeling. It's like I'm (mentally) disappearing and vanishing. Sick huh?

So I finally got myself to put on your old records. This isn't really a "relationship" kinda depression so I figured I'd let Jagged Little Pill take a vacation and decided to put on Supposed Former. When "That I would be good" played, I felt like you were right there, personally consoling me. I really felt it this time. I know this song is about a relationship but I took it as a relationship-with-myself kinda way. It felt so good to hear the song and remind myself that even if I may not be the best person in the world, I am still worth it. I am still good even if I am fuming. I am still good even when I'm overwhelmed. I am good. I am good enough.

I do feel a bit better now that your song cleared me out.

I am still down, but at least now I know that now matter how shitty my life and my situation can be, I would be good, fine, great, grand and loved...

Thanks you.